வீட்டுக்கு வீடு ஒரு கதை உண்டு

A Tamil version of my earlier blog post ... A story from every home...

அவர் நம் ஒவ்வொருவர் வாழ்வையும் தொட்டார் . சின்ன சின்ன விதங்களில். நம் ஒவ்வொருவரிடமும் அவரைப் பற்றிச் சொல்ல ஒரு கதை இருக்கிறது. அவரைப் பற்றி . அவர் அன்பைப் பற்றி. அவர் வாழ்வும் நம் வாழ்வும் இணைந்த வைபவத்தைப் பற்றி, நம் மனங்களில் அவர் நிறைந்து நம்மை வழிகாட்டிய கதைகளைப் பற்றி. இவை சாயி சுயசரிதைக் கதைகள்.

சில கதைகள் எங்கும் எப்போதும் எழுதப்படாத கதைகள். சில கதைகள் நம் இதயத்தில் மட்டும் நிறைத்து வைத்து போற்றப்படும் கதைகள், அவை இனிமேலும் எழுதப் படாது. சில கதைகள், மற்றவர்களிடம் நாம் சொல்ல வேண்டிய கதைகள். நம் வாழ்வில் அவர் அன்பை எப்படி அன்பை நிறைத்தார் என்பதை உலகத்துக்குச் சொல்லி ஆனந்தப்படவேண்டிய கதைகள். சிலவற்றை கதை என்று சொல்ல முடியாது, சின்ன நிகழ்ச்சிகள் , நகைச்சுவையான வாக்கியங்கள், ஏதோ ஒரு நாள் இங்கே இந்த மண்டபத்தில் நாம் அமர்ந்திருந்த போது நடந்த சம்பவங்கள், நம் நினைவில் நிற்கின்றன. நாம் அமைதியாக ஓரிடத்தில் அமர்ந்து யோசிக்கும் போது நம் உள்ளிருந்து அவை நீர்க்குமிழிகள் போல் நம் மன ஏரியிலிருந்து எழும்பி மேலே வருகின்றன.

சில கதைகளில் வசனம் இருக்காது. நாம் அங்கே அமர்ந்திருந்த போது, அவர் நம்மைத் தாண்டி போகும்போது, நம் கண்களில் கூர்ந்து கவனித்த அந்தப் பார்வை. நமக்காக, நாம் மட்டும் புரிந்து கொள்ளுவது போன்ற பார்வை. அவர் பேசவில்லை ஆனால் அர்த்தம் புரிந்துவிடும். நாம் கேட்க வேண்டும் என்று நினைத்தோம், கேட்கவில்லை, ஆனால் அந்த கேள்விக்கு விடை கிடைத்துவிட்டது.

சில கதைகளின் முக்கியத்துவம் நாம் பல நாட்குளுக்குப் பிறகு தான் உணர்ந்தோம். அறிய முடியாத இறை மனதை நம் சிறு மனத்தால் அறிய முயன்று, அது கொடுத்த விடையை வைத்து அவரது விந்தையை கணக்கு போட முயன்றிருப்போம்.

சில சமயங்களில் நமக்கு தோன்றிய ஒரு எண்ணம் , அது அவரிடமிருந்து வந்தது என்பதை நாம் உணர்வோம். அந்த எண்ண அனுபவம் கூட ஒரு கதையே.

இது உங்கள் அனுபவம் , அல்லது என் அனுபவம் மட்டும் அல்ல. வீட்டுக்கு வீடு இந்த சாய் கதைகள் உண்டு. சில கதைகள் பிறருக்கு சின்னதாக இருக்கலாம். ஆனால் , நமக்கு அது இனிமையான கதை, முக்கியமான கதை. ஏனென்றால், அது அவர்கள் வாழ்க்கையில் நடந்த கதை அல்ல, நம் வாழ்வில் நடந்த கதை. 'Dunnapotha' என்று செல்லமாக திட்டி இருப்பார். 'Good Boy' என்று புகழ்ந்திருப்பார். அதுவும் ஒரு இனிமையான கதை தான்.

மற்றவர்களின் அனுபவத்தைப் பற்றி நாம் கேள்வி கேட்கலாம், விவாதம் செய்யலாம், மறுக்கலாம். ஆனால் , நம் உள்ளுணர்வை நம்மால் மறுக்க முடியுமா ? நமது உள்ளுணர்வுகளுக்கு நாமே முக்கியத்துவம் கொடுக்கவில்லையெனில் , நாம் எதை ஆதாரமாக வைத்து வாழ்க்கையை வாழ்கிறோம் ? நம் கதை, நம் உள்ளுணர்வுகள் , நமக்கு ஆழமானவை . 'Personal'-ஆக முக்கியமானவை. அதனால் தான், அவர் உலகத்துக்கே போதகராக இருந்திருக்கலாம் , ஆனால் நமக்கு 'Personal God'- ஆக இருந்தார். அந்த நாள், அவரவர்கள் எங்கெங்கோ இருந்தாலும், அங்கிருந்தே, நன்றி உணர்வுடன் , அவருக்காக ஒரு துளி கண்ணீர் சிந்திய , அந்த லக்ஷோபலக்ஷம் மக்கள் அனைவருக்கும் அவர், தனி தனியாக , 'Personal God'- ஆக இருந்தார். அவர் இந்த வீட்டின் தலைவர், ஒவ்வொரு உரையாடலையும் அமைதியாக கேட்பவர், ஒவ்வொரு உணவு வேளையின் போதும் கண்ணுக்குத் தெரியாத விருந்தாளி. ஒவ்வொருவர் வீட்டிலும், இன்று , அவரவர்கள் 'Dinner Table '-இல் , இந்த சாய் கதைகளை தான் , ஒருவருக்கு ஒருவர் பகிர்ந்து கொண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். இவை எல்லாம் சிறிய, ஆழ்ந்த , 'Personal' கதைகள் , நம் வாழ்வில் அவர் வந்த கதை, நம் உள்ளுணர்வின் கதை, நம்மை அந்த திருச்சிற்றம்பலம் தடுத்தாட்கொண்ட கதை.

கதை இருக்கிறதோ இல்லையோ, அதை சொல்லுகிறோமோ இல்லையோ, நாம் மீண்டும் மீண்டும் இங்கே வந்தோம். ஒவ்வொரு 'New Year'-உம் , சிவராத்திரியும் , நவம்பரிலும் வந்தோம். இங்கே வந்தால் நிம்மதி என்று நாடி வந்தோம். அப்படி வருவோருக்கெல்லாம் அன்பு தரும் ஆல மரமாக அவர் இந்த ஆஸ்ரமத்தை அமைத்தார். இந்த அன்பு நிழலின் குளிர்ச்சியில் நிம்மதியை தேடி வந்தவருக்கெல்லாம் அது கிடைத்தது .

இந்த அன்பு உணர்வுகள், கண்ணுக்கு தெரியாதவை , ஆனால் , 'இது சத்தியம் என்று எனக்கு தெரியும்', என்று அழுத்தமாக எழும் உள்ளுணர்வுகள். இந்த உணர்வுகளை வைத்து தான் , சுவாமியைப் பற்றிய ஒரு வடிவத்தை நாம் நமது மனங்களில் உருவாக்கி இருக்கிறோம். அந்த வடிவம், லோகாயதமான வடிவம் அல்ல. அது உணர்வுகளின் வடிவம். வருடக்கணக்கில் , மிக மெதுவாக, ஒரு எறும்பு தானியம் சேகரிப்பதுபோல , சேர்த்து வைத்த, வடிவம். நாம் அவரிடம் கேட்ட கோரிக்கைகள் , இந்த உலகம் சம்பந்தப்பட்டதாக இருக்கலாம். அவர் நமக்கு கொடுத்த பரிசுகள் காலப்போக்கில் ஒளி குறையலாம். ஆனால் , நாம் அவரது கண்ணோடு கண் நோக்கிய போது , அவரை பிரார்த்தனையில் நினைத்த போது , நம் இதயம் என்னும் 'Camera'வில் , அவரது வடிவத்தை செதுக்கிய , அந்தக் கண நேரம், அது இந்த உலகத்தியது அல்ல. அது காலம் கடந்தது, லோகாயதத்துக்கு அப்பாற்பட்டது. கிருஷ்ணர் , ஆயிரக்கணக்கான கோபிகைகளுக்கு , ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் ஒரு கிருஷ்ணராக வடிவெடுத்தது போல, நாம் ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் அவர் நமது இதயங்களில் ஒரு வடிவத்தை வரைந்திருக்கிறார். விதம் விதமாக, வித்தியாசமான அழகுடன், உணர்வுகளின் வடிவம் ஒன்றை அளித்திருக்கிறார்.

கல்வி, மருத்துவ வசதி, குடிதண்ணீர் - இவை மூன்றும் கட்டாயம் இலவசமாக தரப்பட வேண்டும் - என்று அவர் நம்பினார். நமக்கு ஒரு நம்பிக்கை இருந்தால், அந்த நம்பிக்கையை எப்படி செயலாக்க வேண்டும், பல்லோர் போற்றும் உதாரணமாக , ஊக்கமளிக்கும் வகையில் , எப்படி நம் நம்பிக்கையை வெளிப்படுத்த வேண்டும் , என்பதை அவர் உலகத்துக்கு செய்து காட்டினார். எனக்கு 'rights' இருக்கிறது , உரிமை இருக்கிறது என்று போராடுகிறோம். ஆனால், அதுவே , 'responsibility' என்று வரும் போது, பொறுப்பாக நடந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும் என்றால், பயந்து ஓடுகிறோம். அதை, மற்றவர் பெயருக்கு மாற்றி, அவரை எப்படி குறை சொல்லலாம் என்று யோசிக்கிறோம். அப்படிப்பட்ட இந்த உலகத்திலே, சுற்றி இருப்போரின் பிரச்சினைகளுக்கு, சமுதாயத்தில் உள்ள பிரச்சினைகளுக்கு, ஒரு தனி மனிதன் எப்படி பொறுப்பு எடுத்துக்கொண்டு , அந்த பிரச்சினையை தீர்க்க முடியும் என்பதை நிரூபித்தார். அவர்களுடைய கஷ்டத்தை, தனது கஷ்டமாக , அவர் நினைத்தார்.

'1980 'இல் , ஒரு இலவச பல்கலைக் கழகம் வரும் என்றும், அதில் மனித குண மேம்பாடுகளையும், 'Character Building ' -உம் இணைந்ந்து போதிப்போம் என்று அவர் சொன்ன போது, அவர்கள் எல்லாம் கை கொட்டிச் சிரித்தார்கள். இன்றைக்கெல்லாம் அந்த பல்கலைக்கழகம் 30 ஆண்டுகள் முடித்துவிட்டு இன்னும் வெற்றி நடை போடுகிறது. அதன் மூலம் பல ஆயிரம் பேர் வாழ்க்கையைத் தொட்டார். '1990'-இல் , ஒரு உயர்தர மருத்துவ மனை உருவாக்கி , ஏழை மக்களுக்கு அறுவை சிகிச்சைகள் முற்றிலும் இலவசமாக செய்வோம் என்று அவர் சொன்ன போது, அவர்கள், எள்ளி நகையாடினார்கள். இன்றைக்கு அந்த மருத்துவ மனை 20 வருடங்கள் முடித்தாகி விட்டது. பற்றாக்குறைக்கு , அந்த மருத்துவ மனை 10 வருடங்கள் முடித்த போது, அதே அளவில் , இரண்டாவது மருத்துவ மனையையும், கட்டினார். இன்னும் பல ஆயிரம் பேர் வாழ்க்கையைத் தொட்டார். '1995'-இல் , வறண்ட பூமியாக இருந்த, ஒரு மாவட்டம் முழுவதற்கும் , பல நூறு மைல் தொலைவிலிருந்து தண்ணீர் கொண்டு வருவேன் என்றார். அதற்காக அவர் கடன் வாங்க நேரிட்டது. அப்போது அவர் சொன்னார் : ' நல்ல எண்ணத்தோடு நல்ல காரியம் செய். உதவி தானாக வரும். ' அதற்கு பிறகு, இன்னும் 4 மாவட்டங்களுக்கு குடிதண்ணீர் திட்டத்தை அமுல்படுத்தும் அளவுக்கு அது விரிந்தது. அதோ, இன்னும் பல ஆயிரம் பேர் வாழ்க்கையைத் தொட்டார்.

அவரை எல்லாரும் 'Personal God ' என்று நம்பாமல் இருக்கலாம், பரவாயில்லை. ஆனால், சேவை காரியங்கள் மூலம், கண்காணாத அந்த பல ஆயிரம் அந்நிய மனிதர்களின் வாழ்க்கையில் அவர் விளக்கேற்றி வைத்தார். அந்த பல்லாயிரம் மக்களுக்கு அவர் அன்னியர் அல்லர். அவர்களுக்கு , அவர், வீட்டை வாழ வைத்த வள்ளல். எங்கிருந்தோ, பல ஆயிரம் மைல் தூரத்திலிருந்து வந்த நோயாளியைப் பொறுத்தவரை, அவர் ஒரு வள்ளல். ஒரு average middle class வர்க்கத்தைச் சேர்ந்த இளைஞன் , டிகிரி படிப்பு படிக்க கஷ்டப்பட்ட இளைஞனுக்கு , அவர் ஒரு வள்ளல். ஒரு மலை நாட்டு கிராமத்தின் வறண்ட தொண்டையைப் பொறுத்த வரை , அவர் ஒரு வள்ளல். இவை எல்லாவற்றிலும் , அவரிடம் வாங்கி கொண்டவர்கள் , கல்வி, வைத்தியம், குடிதண்ணீர் ஆகியவற்றை வாங்கி கொண்டு, நன்றியை செலுத்தினார்கள். ஆனால், அவர் கொடுத்தது, அதுவல்ல. அவர் கொடுத்தது அன்பு மட்டும் தான். அவர் எப்போதும், எல்லோருக்கும், அன்பை மட்டும் தான் கொடுத்தார், மற்றவை எல்லாம் அன்பை வெளிப்படுத்த , ஒரு கருவி தான். இந்த சேவைக் காரியங்களை செய்த சேவகர்களுக்கும், பக்தர்களுக்கும், அவர் அதோடு நிறுத்தவில்லை, அவர்கள் சேவையின் தரத்தை உயர்த்த விரும்பினார் . வெறுமனே வேலை செய்தால் போதாது, அதில் அன்பும் , சரியான மனோபாவமும் இருந்தால் தான் பிரயோஜனம் என்று போதித்தார். உன்னுடைய, உண்மையான தெய்வீக இயல்பை உணர்வாயாக , பிறகு நீ எது செய்தாலும், நன்மையாக தான் இருக்கும், என்றார்.

நாம் சொல்கிறோம் : அவர் ஒரு ஹிந்துவை 'Better' ஹிந்துவாக மாற்ற வந்தார் என்றும், ஒரு முஸ்லிமை 'Better' முஸ்லிமாக மாற்ற வந்தார் என்றும், ஒரு கிறித்தவனை 'Better' கிறித்தவனாக மாற்ற வந்தார் என்றும் சொல்கிறோம். ஆனால், எல்லாவற்றுக்கும் மேலாக , அவர் ஒவ்வொரு மனிதனையும், 'Better' மனிதனாக , மாற்ற வந்தார் என்று சொல்லலாம். மனிதனுக்கு, அன்பு என்றால் என்னவென்று தெரிய வேண்டும், அது மற்றவர் மனதை எப்படி மாற்றும் என்பது புரிய வேண்டும். நம்மை சுற்றி உள்ளவர்களின், சமுதாயத்தின் கஷ்டங்களை புரிந்து கொண்டு, அதை தீர்க்கும் பொறுப்பை நாம் ஏற்றுக்கொண்டு , மனிதனோடு மனிதன் நேசமாக வாழ வேண்டும். ஒருவர் கேட்பதற்கு முன்பே அவர்களுக்கு, நாம் நன்மையை பகிர்ந்து அளித்து, அவர் என்றாவது ஒரு நாள், வேறு ஒருவருக்கு நன்மை செய்வார் என்று நம்பி , நன்மையை சுற்றி வரச் செய்ய வேண்டும். அன்பின் மூலமும், சேவையின் மூலமும், தனக்கு உள்ளிருக்கும் தெய்வத் தன்மையை அவன் உணர வேண்டும். பிறகு, அதே தெய்வத்வம் தான் அங்கிங்கெனாதபடி , எங்கும் நிறைந்திருக்கிறது என்பதை உணர வேண்டும். இதை சொல்லத்தான், இதை செய்து காட்டத்தான் இந்த தெய்வம் வந்தது.

என்றாவது ஒரு நாள், பல ஜன்மங்கள் கழித்து, நமது பிறவி பயணத்தில், நாம் ஒரு நாள், இந்த உண்மையை உணரத் தான் போகிறோம். நமது 'Personal God '-க்கும் , நமக்கும், அதிகம் வித்தியாசம் இல்லை, நாமும் தெய்வம் தான், என்பதை உணரத் தான் போகிறோம். அதைத் தானே அவர் முதலிலேயே சொன்னார், நமக்குத் தான் , இது புரிபடுவதற்கு நிறைய 'time' ஆகிவிட்டது, என்று நினைப்போம்.

நம் உடம்பு, நம் மனம், நம் வினை, நம் விதி, நமது வாழ்வின் குறிக்கோள் , நம் வாழ்வின் கம்யம் , நம் உண்மை இயல்பு, - இதெல்லாமே நமக்கு புரியவில்லை. இந்த லக்ஷணத்தில், நாம் , அவரையும், அவர் உடம்பையும், அவர் அவதார நோக்கத்தையும் , புரிந்து கொள்ள முடியுமா என்ன ?

அவரை ஏன் நாம் நேசிக்கிறோம் தெரியுமா ? அவருடைய புகழை அளவிட முடியாது, அவரை புரிந்து கொள்ள முடியாது. அவரை புரிந்து கொண்டு அப்புறமாக அவரை நேசிக்க முடியுமா என்ன ?

அவர் முன்னிலையில், நாம் யார் , என்பதை அவர் நமக்கு காட்டுகிறார். அவருடைய திருவுருவப் படத்தின் தீபத்தின் முன்பு, நமது மனம் என்ற ஏரியில் தோன்றும் பிம்பத்தில், நம்மை நாம் காண்கிறோம். வேறு எங்கெங்கோ தேடி கிடைக்காத, நம்மை பற்றி, நாமே அறிந்து கொள்ள வேண்டிய உண்மைகளை , அவர் முன்னால் நாம் உணர்கிறோம். அந்த உள்ளுனர்வுகளுக்காக தான் நாம் அவரை நேசிக்கிறோம். நீங்கள் இந்த நிலையை அடைந்திருந்தால் , இந்த பிரசாந்தி நிலையத்தை, அடைந்திருந்தால், இது உண்மை என்பதை நீங்கள் உணர்வீர்கள்.

A story from every home

HE touched each one of our lives in little little ways at different points in time. Each one of us has a story to tell, about His Love, about how our lives have mingled with His, about His impact on us, our minds.

Sometimes they are stories told never before. Some are stories that are cherished deeply in the heart and might never be told. Some are stories that we enjoy telling, because the Love that we received, we want to share with the entire world. Some may be just little quips, short incidents, quotable quotes that happened some sunny morning in the Mandir here, but have been etched in our memories and bubble up from time to time, during our moments of reflection.

Some may be just silent moments, when He passed by us, He had this customized twinkle in His eye, apparently no word was spoken, but we got the message nevertheless. Some may be moments whose importance we realized only later, for, at that time, we let our narrow mind interpret the million mysterious ways of God. Sometimes it might have been as small as a thought that occurred to us, which we knew came from Him.

It's not just the story of you and me, it's ghar ghar kee kahani, a story from each home. Some may be stories that for others may be trivial, but for us, so sweet and so important, because they happened in our lives, not theirs. Even a light chiding as 'Dunnapotha' or a pleasant reference as 'Good Boy'. We can deny, question or argue somone else's experience, but can we deny a feeling when it occurs within us ? After all, if we aren't true to our feelings, what else would life be worth living for ? Our feelings and our stories are always deep, important and very personal to us. That is why, even though He was a Universal Teacher, He was a 'Personal' God. A personal God individually to all those millions, who shed a tear or two today in fond gratitude from wherever they are. He was the Head of this House, a silent listener in every conversation, an unseen guest at every meal. Every home must be narrating these stories at their dinner table today to others in the family and friends, and they are all little, but deeply personal stories of how He came into "my life" and what we felt about Him.

Whether story or not, whether told or not, each one of us was here, flocking here from time to time, for every Christmas, every Shivarathri and every November, because it was so wonderful to be here. He had made it so wonderful for us to be here, it’s so cool to bask in the shadow of this large banyan tree of Love.

It's these little but sure acts of love, invisible but 'I-know-it-is-true' kind of feelings, that have built our picture of how we relate to him. That picture is not of the material kind. It's a picture of feelings, built slowly like an ant builds its granary. The wishes we asked Him, might have been of this world and gifts that we received may fade with time. But the feeling we cherished when we prayed to him, that Moment of capture in the camera of our heart, it is not of this world and is timeless. Like Krishna who made a copy of Himself to each of the thousand Gopikas, the Master has made a picture of Himself in each of our hearts, each picture unique in its streaks and differently beautiful.

Education, Healthcare and Drinking water SHOULD be given free, He believed. And He set out to show the world how to manifest your belief into an example and an inspiration for others. In an age, where people are particularly insistent about their rights and cleverly transfer the responsibility to others at the quickest possible opportunity, He showed how an individual can take a personal sense of responsbility for the problems of the community. He felt for their problems, as really and as strongly as if it was His own problem.

When He said, in 1980, that a University would be completely free, and would combine modern education with character-building and human values, they mocked at him. It just completed 30 years and a few thousand lives were touched. When He said, in 1990, that a world class hospital would do surgeries for free for the poor, they jeered at him. That one just completed 20 years. Even better, 10 years into the first, for a bonus, He added one more hospital of the same scale and a few more thousand lives were touched, literally. When He announced in 1995, to supply drinking water to an entire arid district drawing water from hundreds of kilometers away, and He had to borrow to finish it, He said, 'Do good work with a good intention. Help will come.' And then He went on to add 4 more districts to the list and few thousand hearts.

He may not have been a personal God to everyone, but for those few thousand stranger lives that He touched by His Service, He was no more a stranger. For an unknown patient coming from a distant land, He was a giver. For that average, middle class young lad in his teens looking for a degree and can't afford it, He was a giver. For a parched throat in a uphill tribal village, He was a giver. In all these, the ones who received, got their cure, education and water and are grateful. But He was a giver of Love, above all, that was what He always gave, the rest were just the specifics. And for volunteers and the followers who participated in these works, He raised the bar for them further, beyond the work they did. Work wasn't an end in itself, He said, it was Love and the Attitude that accompanied it. Know your own reality, and every work that you do will be good.

It is said that He came to make a Hindu a better Hindu, a Muslim into a better Muslim, a Christian into a better Christian. But, above all, He came to make every Man, a better Man. So that Man may believe in Love and its cascading power of transformation. That Man may believe in Selfless Service and the proactive responsibility to care and share with fellowmen, to pay it forward with goodness. That Man may, one day, by the power of Love and Service, inquire into His own true nature and find Divinity within. And then find it pervading all over the place, in everyone. Some day, in a journey across lives, we may discover that we weren't any less godly than our personal God. Which is what He always said in the first place. We just took our time to get the point.

We are not able to figure out our own body, our mind, our destiny, our Gamyam and our real nature. What would we know of Him, His body and His Mission ?

As some famous quote goes, we love him, perhaps not for what He is, for we know not His Glory in its entirety. We love him, for what we are, when we are in His presence. For what we reflect in the light of His altar. For what we find out about ourselves that we didn't find otherwise. If you've been there, you'll know it to be true.

Chardham 2005

From my Travel Diary, here is an account of a trip to the Chardham shrines, Badri, Kedar, Yamunotri and Gangotri in the Himalayas. This happened in 2005 and these are excerpts from a letter to a friend.

It was the call of the Himalayas. Six of us went to what is popularly called the Chardham Shrines, i.e., Gangotri, Yamunotri, Badrinath and Kedarnath. We had hired a Sumo from Haridwar through these shrines back to Haridwar and Rs.5300 per head for the 12 days. It was a mix of Adventure, Nature, Fun and Pilgrimage. This belt involves lot of trekking. The best part is throughout the trip, you travel right along the Ganga and its tributaries like Bhagirathi, Alakananda and Mandakini. Sometimes the river is at a stone's throw while in other places it is few hundred feet away vertically. All the other members trekked wherever trekking was required. I didn't trek much, I took ponies or human carriers in all places for a charge. It was a total of 80 km trek in the 12 days. We took dips in the many prayags on the way, thanks to some guys in our group, who used to gently suggest that may we please stop at this prayag and that, for a dip and darshan at the riverside shrine. We stayed in the GMVNL chain of Government Tourist Bungalows in middle-level accommodation with moderate facilities.

Vasudhara Falls

Let me tell you, if you are one who loves nature, Himalayas is the place to go. I feel it's heavily undermarketed when compared to other foreign destinations (though this may be a skewed opinion, since I haven't been abroad). Add to it the sanctity which the Indian cultural psyche attaches to the Ganges. (Forget about the lower ganges which brings up the image of pollution). This is about the Higher Ganges, beyond Haridwar, where we can actually take the water from the stream and directly drink and it would be absolutely pure. In fact, we actually drank from the stream during our trek to one Vasudhara Falls. This is a rarely visited place beyond the Mana Village which is the last village in India before the Tibetan Border. Vasudhara Falls is 5 km beyond Mana and I also had to trek because no ponies were available, since it isn't a popular destination. Our stay in Badri extended one more day because we went to Vasudhara Falls. Though the trek itself was fascinating to me, the Falls Proper turned out to be a anti-climax, since during the time we went, the Falls was a faint shower contrary to the fierce downpour it is in winter. But since that was only the stretch I trekked, it was a wonderful experience for me.

Gangotri

Beyond Gangotri, there is the Gaumukh peak where Bhagirati actually originates. It is a 19 km trek up from Gangotri. All the others went for the trek. I started too, but within 5 minutes, I just changed my mind instinctively and asked other members to go ahead and I would pick a room in Gangotri and stay till they are back the next day. Unfortunately, they were able to make it only upto 16 km upto a place called Bhojbasa and they had to return as there was a hailstorm. They had to actually walk when it was snowing to reach the Bhojbasa camp before the evening, since otherwise they would be stuck in the dark. The next morning the Uttarkashi Central School kids who had gone to Gaumukh told that it might be dangerous, so they returned from Bhojbasa. This was the most picturesque stretch with snow-capped peaks on all sides, streams to be crossed on logs put across and you can actually jump around in the snow. Looking back, I feel may be I should have made it, but all the friends say, it was a perfect decision for me to stay back since I would not have been able to make the 32 km trek without gasping, collapsing and downed by the fatigue. Everyone, particularly me, was very much worried about one of our friends who was frail, whether he will be able to make it. I was calling the Bhojbasa Camp by the wireless in my hotel to find out if our boys have reached, since even in Gangotri there was a mini hailstorm and there was this talk about it being more fierce in higher places. The temperature was around -3 degrees. But contrary to my worries, this friend was able to make it in fine condition. In fact, throughout the trip, while all of us used to be worried about him, he would always make it in good stead. He would exert and stretch himself for difficult situations, no doubt, but he would invariably make it well, no matter how difficult it would be for others. Well, some are stronger than what they appear to be.

While my brethren were up there battling the snow, I had a nice time in Gangotri. The Ganga had always fascinated me since childhood. So I felt really egggzzzzzeeeee to be on the Ganges. The hailstorm had just calmed down and there was not a soul to be seen by the Ganges, except for a stray sadhu here and there who were on their evening walk. I put on my jerkin and went for a long walk along the Ganges. In fact, I even ventured a dip at Gangotri immediately after hailstorm, but there was a Mouna Sadhu who gestured me to keep away since there was a hailstorm up there and ice cubes would be coming down the Bhagirathi. I had to postpone the dips to the next morning. I visited the Ashrams around, met a few sadhus and sages, was chatting with them about life in winter at Gangotri. All these shrines close down in winter to re-open only in mid-April. But there are sages and sadhus who have stayed for decades, summer and winter, at Gangotri, being brought provisions by someone in summer. I must have appeared to them as a very unlikely candidate for sadhana, what with my jerkin, goggles, sports shoes, track pant, hand-gloves and monkey cap with every part of my body covered with some kind of winter clothing. But once I break ice for a conversation, I would make it mutually enjoyable, well, you know about that part of me....so let me skip the trumpeting....

Badrinath and Kedarnath

While Gangotri and Yamunotri are not frequented very much by people, Badri and Kedar are popular destinations and have more facilities. Badri is the most popular since it does not involve trekking. So there are many facilities and a strong South Indian presence, including the south-indian delicacy Masala Dosa, for which we were hankering after ten days of only north-indian dishes, Aloo Parota and its equally monotonous sister, Gobi Parota in the other places. Kedar involves a 14-km trek, it's actually walking up the slopes and is not trekking in the sense of adventure sport. But even elderly people walk slowly chanting 'Hara Hara Mahadev', 'Hara Hara Gange', 'Jai Boley Nath' etc. Ponies are available for elders (like me ! haha). Also available are woodden palanquins carried by four people, which are more comforatble, and naturally more expensive. The 5 km trek to Yamunotri is the steepest of all, though it is a short one compared to Kedar.

River-rafting at Kaudiyala

If you have wondered what was the fun part of the trip, except for the bounty of Nature, here it is. Near Rishikesh, we went for what is called the White Water River Rafting on the Ganges. You row your own boat, wearing life-jackets and being taught safety instructions for danger and damage, through the whirls of the fierce Ganga, with rowing commands given by a Guide who is in the boat and gives instructions. We saw the boys and girls from Kendriya Vidyalaya start the rafting, so we thought it shouldn't be too difficult. After a few minutes, comes the exciting rowing, that you just jump into the Ganges Proper with your life-jacket on. I had heard about this from one of our friends who had gone the previous on the same stretch. So in the beginning of the rafting, I was the first one to ask the guide, 'Are you not going to allow us to jump ? '. 'Well, ' he said, 'every one of you is going to do that'. The Guide had rafted in 25 rivers across the world and said Brahmaputra is the toughest of all. when the Guide gave the go-ahead, we went for the plunge and let go of the boat. First we held on to the rope tied to the boat, but then, we let go of that and were freely floating in water. Of course, you have to be a bit cautious with danger lurking in the whirls and the rocks that may be on the banks and you may know about them after you hit your head. But then, the mix of caution, a bit of nagging fear and the bubbling excitement is what makes it an adventure. The previous night we had stayed in tents that were put up, right next to the Ganges in Kaudiyala near Rishikesh for the rafters of the next morning.

We completed our Chardham with the famous 'Har-ki-Pauri' Ganga Arati at Haridwar, when all the ancient temples in Haridwar on the banks of Ganga offer Arati simultaneously at around 7.p.m. So do the hundreds of pilgrims who leave small lamps on leaves in the Ganga co-inciding with the Arati, which makes it a sight for the Gods to see.

So much for the Chardham. Apart from these we also had included Amritsar, Agra, Mathura, Vrindavan and Delhi in our itinerary. From Haridwar we went to Amritsar. Of course, we were in Delhi only for a day, but each of us had some kind of individual agenda like visiting friends and relatives. So we got back together after we finished our respective works and we did a bit of shopping at Palika Bazar.

Amritsar

In Amritsar, we went to the Golden Temple, Jalianwala Bagh Memorial and to the Wagah Border with Pakistan. The Golden Temple was really wonderful, with the huge water tank surrounding the temple. They give free food as prasad for all visitors ( and so it is, I believe, at all gurudwaras in the world). The voluntarism there also impressed me a lot, what with volunteers involved in all the activities like cleaning shoes, canteen works, cleaning the shrine etc. Of course, you have to wear this scarf on your head. Scarves are available for free at the entrance.

At the Wagah Border in Amritsar, which we included after hearing that the Indian Cricket team had gone there, the specialty is the Change of Guard Parade which takes place at 6.30 in the evening. This side is full of Indian Visitors and the other is full of Pakistanis. The parade takes place everyday at the same time amidst heavy shouting by visitors on both sides. While fellows and fellis on this side shout 'Vande Mataram', 'Hindustan Zindabad', 'Bharat Matha Ki Jai' etc the other side matches the pitch with 'Pakistan Zindabad' and the like. There is also a commentary by the armies on both sides as the the parade progresses.

We had to dash through Mathura and Vrindavan quickly since we had only one day for Mathura, Vrindavan and Agra. At Mathura, Right next to the temple sharing a wall with it, is the mosque built by Aurangazeb. The temple itself was destroyed and re-built 6 times during the various muslim invasions. The jail where Lord Krishna was born has been made into a shrine. A very serene place. Vrindavan is just a few km away. While the pestering guides and money-minded priests make it a bit funny, the shrines are very good. The thick and delicious Lassi sold in earthen pots needs a special mention.

The Taj Mahal

We had only a couple of hours spend at Agra. But I was amazed. The Taj is indeed imposing just as you step into the premises, with huge domes touching the sky and sight of sheer marble everywhere leaving you stunned. The dash of Mughal Architecture is evident on every inch, though the Yamuna was not as impressive as I expected. That may be because, we had seen the Original Yamuna in all its splendour, gushing and galloping down the rocks, so anything on the plains looks so mean. Thankfully there are no constructions behind the Taj, so the Taj with the backdrop of greenery looks like a giant lonely lover reaching out to the skies as the manifestation of the anguish that once haunted a rich and a melancholic king.There is high security. Video cameras are not allowed beyond a point. Even our portable hard disk in which we used to dump all the high-res digital photos, was not allowed. Tourists throng the place, particularly young couples and lovers, probably with the million-dollar question 'Kya Hamara Prem Bhee Aisa Amar Rahega ?'. But if you are going ( I mean if someone wants to go), I would suggest you go with your wife or fiancee. Of course, if you are a guy who enjoys different kinds of architecture, then it is a must-see case study in Architecture. And that it is one of the 7 wonders is not without reason. Someone remarked that after all it is a tomb or mausoleum and should be of little interest to spiritually-inclined half-monks, but I would say it is a parochial view. You should appreciate good work where you see it and this piece is undoubtedly among the finest of art.

From Agra, we dashed back in Tamilnadu Express to down south, moving from cold temperatures to our good old temperatures in the South. In all the trip costed around Rs.10000 per head including all expenses. If you include the shopping for the sake of and during the trip, it would be Rs.15000 per head.

Pranks on the sands of time

In this Part 3 of a series, I think about God and suffering (in the context of killings) and the dichotomy of good and evil in the human mind. These aren't clear answers but just my 2 cents. I wrote these at this Orkut discussion thread. You can find the other parts linked from here.

Creation: Pattern or arbitrary ?

The ancient question is still being researched heavily and quite controversially.
But my take is, Yes, for the pattern part. The advocates of both sides, Intelligent Design and Natural Selection, both agree there is a pattern. One says there is a pattern by design and the other says there is a pattern in the process, in acquisition of traits. The difference, is only about, who put the pattern in ? Or was there one ?

Is God just a fabrication of the human mind in a world of random possibilities?

:) :) Well, some schools say, the world itself is a fabrication of God's Mind. Or Man's Mind, meaning Man is God.

Is God a temporary diversion from the madness of suffering ?

I don't think such a diversion would work anyway. God or not, when the madness (to mean suffering) hits you, it would no more let you bury your head in the sand nor would it spare you even if your head is in. Lot of people, choose God to cope up in times of suffering, because, well, it works for them and effectively so. If it didn't work, God wouldn't have been operating in that segment any more. There are things in life that truly help you in times of suffering. Like love and care, faith can do it to a great deal, if you have it, that is. Even if all other aspects of Faith are debatable, the therapeutic value of faith needs to be given atleast as much credit as that of love and care.

If not,then where are the answers to this dance of death, to this depletion of hope,to these hungry flaming fires of hell,to this downward spiral?

Reminds me of a quip that Ramana Maharishi used to give his disciples, when confronted with the question of how do I find out the cause of the world's suffering and alleviate it. He often said, first find out the cause of your suffering, we'll catch up with the world later.

What meaning to make of suffering...

The questions assume, to a large extent, the reality of suffering and the value of life. I sometimes think, what are catastrophies or achievements for us, are just childish pranks for God. Consider a kid, playing on the sands of the shore, building castles in the sand. He would build for a while, then he would demolish a section of it and build again. Or his friend would demolish it and they would fight about it. Or build one more together after a little while. And when it's time for lunch, they would move away to play another game, the fights fading away. Even if they fought and cried, their parents would know not to take them too seriously and would tell them so too, indicating the transience of both the castle and its demolition and the fun value behind it.

I myself find this ridiculous at times, because how can suffering be unreal ? Someone slaps you, you immediately know whether it's real or unreal. Your arthritis or asthma is quite sufficient to tell you whether it's real or unreal, you don't require news of massacres in the papers to tell. But there seems to be a school or a section of humanity, that want to question that experience and get to its deeper reality.

The whole problem is that, to understand this in actuality, we have to consider the possibility that suffering may be unreal. Or real only from a relative perspective of the kid. That's a colossal problem for us mortals, because, it requires a different plane of thinking and training. But if the Truth lies there (just in case) and if Truth is what we seek, is there an option but to look in ? Reminds me of Einstien’s quote : The problems that we face today cannot be resolved at the same level we created them.

Is that why the Goddess of the Three Worlds is also called "The Playful One" ?

Spiritual, but not religious

This is Part 2 of a series that handles : good effects of religion, religious distortions and the modern phrase "Spiritual but not religious". The contents are drawn from what I wrote at this discussion thread. You can find the other parts linked from here.

There is someone above...

Just to flip the coin around and bring a balance in perspective, how about violence, hatred and killings that have been avoided because of religion ? Perhaps no one conducts a survey to find this, because the good things that happen silently are not the ones that get the eyeball attention. Yet, these are indeed among the kind of people you meet day to day, commonplace. People who want to abstain from certain acts that harm others, because they believe in a higher order governed by God, never mind what name. If you don't want to hear the word God-fearing, call it a general respect for 'Dharma-Nyayam'. This is not to say they are perfect, always make the best choices, but they keep God at the back of their mind while choosing an action. This is not in the context of fear, guilt or hypocrisy (each a different thread) but a general abstention from a decidedly wrong action with a simple thought of 'Devudu Unnadu'. This is something you find in the grocer, the tailor and the street vendor. Isn't there a certain amount of religious thinking behind their goodness ? Between this huge collection formed by little drops of water, from the very people around you and from the selective portrayal of graphic images and numbers found in the newspapers, which one will you believe in ? And which one outnumbers the other ? Whether it outnumbers the other or not, why is the goodness due to religion, not attributed to it, as much as the evil so attributed ?
Religious Distortions and disillusionment...

One can understand that phenomena like casteism can be a major putoff in a quick glance of a certain religion. But using that to debunk the primary need for religion, is like the proverbial baby and the bathwater. How about other oppressive phenomena like slavery and racial discrimination which didn't have anything to do with religion ? Where did Man get those from ? The source of these don't lie in religion, but in men who use religion as a vehicle, to further the evil which they would anyway further. Distortions, but not, 'religious distortions' as in 'arising out of religion', but as in 'distortion of religion' by men. Which system that men found and evolved is not distorted by other men ? Distortion is found in every system: science, language, history, governance and the arts. And just like any other system of thought, religion finds its own rejuvenation from time to time: cleansing, re-understanding of the Code, accommodation of evolving ideas, reflection of learnings from the positive ideas that mankind has collectively benefited from and purging of the demerits.

Spiritual, Sir, but not religious ?

If one is an agnostic and doesn't feel a need for God, thats a different thread. But if one believes in spirituality, but not in religion, then, in my view, such a positioning arises because of the following (not that such a stance is 'bad') :

1. Needless over-differentiation between the two, whereas one is a means towards the end in the other. Still better, some believe the differentiation is unncecessary.

2. An inability to use the positive understandings in one's religion to further one's spiritual development and highlighting the misfits rather than the matches.

3. A general disillusionment (from the other perspective, call, unattractiveness) about all things religious, caused by a maze of factors, that lie partly in approach to study, life events, unanswered questions, environment etc.

What got you here will not get you there....

Assume, you were ‘spiritual, but not religious’. You would carry the spirituality 'in the head', and then, what ? Probably you would believe in a principle, like, for example, 'be a good person' or 'reflect on your own reality'. If you ask me, you are already being religious, because you believe in a set of principles, and by design, you don't believe (or believe less) in another set of principles that goes straight contrary to yours. Having believed in whatever principles, you would then step out to 'do' or 'not do' certain actions based on those. (By now, you are totally religious). Why would you do that ? Because, given your current state, you have a picture of what you want to be, and you want to follow your idea of the map that takes you there and abstain from those that don't. This is what religion is all about, a set of principles and a set of actions and abstentions, directed towards a set of outcomes. Just that, a lot of like-minded people have got together to believe in the same sets, instead of individually carrying it in their heads, and the subject, in this case happens to be 'Man and His Relationship with God'. You are free to update your principles, actions and expectations as you walk along, and those represent the various schools/levels in a religion. Some would like to argue that this is what spirituality is all about, yeah, those are the ones that would agree that religion and spirituality are closer or identical, if they have a positive inclination towards religion that is. Those that don't for some reason, would like to maintain that one is the problem and the other is the solution.

Is religion the root cause of all evil ?

Here is a series of posts on Religion and Spirituality. Most of it comes from what I wrote at an Orkut discussion forum. If you have an Orkut id, i urge you to read the complete thread here, offering many more perspectives, I just mention here a simplified version of the questions to indicate the context for the replies.

Part 1 : Is religion the root cause of all suffering ?
Part 2: Spiritual but not religious
Part 3: God and the nature of suffering

In Part 1, I handle the question:

Is religion the root cause of all violence/evil ?

Oh No, I don't think so. Why single out religion ? Language ? Land ? It's quite fashionable and simplistic to attribute all violence to organised religion and can be reflected in more youth marking 'spiritual but not religious' on the Orkut profile, but I think it's not the case. (I hope to cover this in my review of 'The God Delusion' some day, but here is a primer).

People fight among themselves for all kinds of things. Yes, religion is one of them, but if you assume to take religion out for a moment, people would still fight. People can fight because they feel 'something is being snatched away from them' or 'another somehow calls himself as superior and dominate them'. In history, people have fought solely on the basis of color or race. Solely for the occupation of wealth or land. For certain sections not allowing a certain freedom for certain other sections, it could be any freedom, freedom to grow and prosper, to speak or express or freedom to choose a taste. Whether one is on the south or north of an imaginary line. The snatchaway or the superiority can also arise from religion, but, that is, only as much as it can arise from anything else.

Just as we hold the color/race/wealth/land as dear to ourselves and we feel jittery about any threat to that preference, so also religion is one preference and a threat to it unsettles man. The tribals usually worship an agreed family of gods, (in a homogeneous tribe), but they still fight for things like the prey they shot or the herb they pluck. It's quite possible people primarily fight on one count, the root cause for the resentment is some other snatchaway or domination, but later bring in religion also as one more count ,where possible, to fight even more. Using religion to enlist more people for the fight. The tendency to fight or kill does not arise out of religion, it's inherent in the unevolved Man as a basic tendency and he would anyway fight, religion or not.

Whats about religion thats not about other systems ?

All is not well with any religion. The demerits in each religion arise from the collective demerits of the people who are attempting to codify it or practise it. Their own personal flaws plus the flaws in the institutionalising attempts. This is true about any system or doctrine that seeks to benefit a collective.

To show that religion is not alone as a flawed system, lets take another unrelated field: Economics. Have we been able to arrive a single economic theory that benefits all of mankind the most ? And if we have, have we succeeded in making most of Mankind agree that it's the one ? God wasn't involved, but still we couldn't decide on a school, we are still looking. I am sure, divergent schools exist in every pursuit of knowledge, in science and in poetry. If you ask each school in isolation, they would like to believe that theirs is the best and has the most merits and sure they will promise that their school would lead to the much-sought 'liberation', whatever that might mean in that branch of knowledge. What flaws are so differently found in religion that are not found in other systems of knowledge or human behaviour ?

Just as Economics pursues the question of money, Religion pursues the question of Man and God. It arises out of a need, in Man, to connect with a possible higher power. Why is that need planted or whether it's a delusion is debatable, but it can't be wished away as non-existent, it's as much real as the question of money and economics.

Why is philosophy insufficient ? Because it handles theory. When you reach the lab, however, you need to know, which action to perform, X or X-dash and which one to abstain from. Not that one action is inherently right or wrong, one chemical is superior or sinful than the other, but given the objective that you are trying to achieve, there is a most optimal action that offers to get that outcome. Religion codifies these objectives and preferred actions that lead to those outcomes, assuming you chose to study God, just like if you chose to study money.

Find your own religion, if you can:

Rub off all religion for a moment. Fine, have we found answers to all the questions we have ? Forget the world...have we found answers to the questions of our own disease and death, of separation and suffering, that seem so real to us, yet baffle us without knowing their cause ? If we can, fine, you won't need religion any more, or what you find will become a religion. There is a precedent, this guy did it, devoting his entire life in the study of this subject. You might happily brush away this need but that doesnt mean it wont get to you, right ?Might as well spend some time knowing its nature.

Oh, is religion providing me all the answers then, you might ask ? No, religion is the training academy for a spiritual objective. Everyone is entitled to join the IPS, but it requires enormous amount of focused training, dos and donts to achieve that. If you don't have the fire, then it isn't for you. If you wish to experience that which Philosophy tells you, in your own lab of Life, that takes a certain amount of training. Religion prescribes the set of actions to achieve the reality that philosophy outlines before us. The rest of the masala in religion, hoaxes, oppression and all, well, is the outcome of the inherent masala in Man, the demerits of the codifiers and practitioners.

The final objective is always spiritually pristine, it probably doesn't depend on which religion or which ritual, which route you took to reach the peak. But you have to choose one and take that uphill route consistently and do things prescribed on that route. And this is true about every route, it will take you there, provided you take it well. All routes have a few basic things in common and a few specifics different. Need to connect regularly with a higher power for inspiration, care for the community and cultivating a good character are some basics that take different forms. I think, probably, the consistency of application, matters more than which route you choose.

Free Will and the Video Game called Life

A friend made me sit and watch this Ted Talks video on the human brain last night and it turned out to be a worthwhile session. It gave a fillip to an idea that has been brewing for the past couple of days. Though the video itself has nothing in common with this post. At least, it fired my brain and kicked me out of the blogger's block, that has lasted over two months now.

About how much freewill does a man have ? Oh, the question, I know, is atleast as old as my great-grandmother and probably even hers. But there is a modern phenomenon that resembles the handling of the questions of Life and Free Will. Gaming.

We have heard before about 'Life is a game; Play it'. I am thinking of narrowing it down further. Life is like a video game. Role-play it. I haven't played many video games, so my tech knowledge is not much, just what I have observed, heard and outlined in a broad way. I like the hint from this book, that, as Man evolves, lot of things today he does for War, like flying advanced aircraft, he would do it in a spirit of Games, without the killing.

In the beginning of a video game, you get to choose a lot of things, your profile, your level of difficulty/speed, the cool looks of the bike, probably the colour of the cap of the prince, number and type of bombshells and life-chances/energy chances and so on. But once you choose these and the word 'GO'-es, you have pretty much only the steering wheel. There is hardly anything you can choose after you start off. How much free will ? But it will be fun, though. The events in your life, the twists and turns, the preset or random obstacles that come your way, the preset or random credits you get on the way to bolster your confidence, are they determined by your actions ? Yes, they are determined by the way you handle the steering wheel of your life. So much for Karma and the ability in your hands to make choices enroute.

But that isn't much. You have free will enough, alright, but only as much you can do at the steering wheel. That much, Oh, and Man thinks he has all the power and free will in the world. Why isn't that free will not much ? Because the complete exhaustive set of objects, events and methods have been programmed already into the video game. Gosh, is that why they use these very terms in object-oriented programming ? You get to choose five or ten or fifteen parameters from a hundred or a thousand that have been programmed for. But do you get to do more than that ?

This design of Life covers only the most basic of video games. However, in the next level, there are also MMORPGs where the players get to choose lot more complex things, like characters with roles. The abbreviation might as well have referred to Life in general, Massively Multi-player, Online, Role-playing Games!!. They can not only play games by choosing roles for themselves, but also with hundreds of players. Let me quote here briefly from the wiki page:

In nearly all MMORPGs, the development of the player's character (as in role) is a primary goal....there is the eventual demand on players to team up with others in order to progress at the optimal rate....

They might have as well put the same text on the wiki page on Life.

Now that's certainly an improvement on the level of free will in Life, we do get to play it with hundreds of others and improve our character and become better day by day. Take it to the next level of Meta. What if someone wrote a meta-game-writing software, that is a software that allows you to build your own games by choosing a hundred parameters. Remember, not just choosing roles, but building entire games, out of raw material stuff that the software will set out before you. Wouldn't that be the next level of free will ? Life does seem to provide such chances, in that sense, Life is probably the most meta-level-ised, most genericised, video games of all kinds. Today you could be a master violinist, tomorrow you could choose to try out mountaineering and in a said amount to time and a said amount of effort, assuming you have a average startup qualifications, you can probably acquire as much mastery with your foot, as you did with your finger. That definitely is a relief and makes us feel better, doesn't it ? Your life is in your hands, Choose the reality that you want to manifest and there...Booom..... there does it bubble and bloom, dive and dance before you. Your choice made, at time X, and your results, here it is Monsieur, your custom suit, delivered to you at time X + N. I have also wondered that why most video games are modelled on gaining points through combat ? Don't the characters perform good deeds like, patting someone for their good work or give a food packet in charity and get a smile in credit for that ? Or combat the evil within and gain points ?

Now that you have taken video game to the next level of abstraction, shouldn't the question of Free Will be taken too ? How much Free Will, do we have, even at the this level of choice ? Still, not much, buddy. Why ? Because you didn't get to do the programming. Thats what drives, whatever it is you are driving. Sure there are open-source video games, you get to read the code, learn from it, fix bugs and contribute to newer branches and features and probably work with others together to take the game as a whole to the next level. Life allows that too. People who reach a certain level of awareness, not only have their lives in order, they endeavour to raise the lives of those around them, making better steering wheels, showing others how to handle them in those lower level games. Showing how to play our roles better and improve our character (this time, it means a set of principles) and how to perform better even while playing with a lot of other people at same or different levels.

So, is that all, have we achieved free will ? (Oh, finish this, and say yes, please). No. Because we still have to work within the game, within that game we started. You can start a new game yourself, all of it open-source. You can start tens of them, a bike game, a market game, a combat game, a music game, whatever. You seem to have the free will to do that, but wait a minute, that is, as they say, a different ball game. It would no more remain the game, with the same name, which you played in the first place. In Life, do we have such a choice ? If you didn't like earth and its Life, do you get to shift to say, Saturn for a while, and get back after the riots have cooled off ? Oh, don't bother, Sometimes, Saturn seems to control our lives here, instead !!. Even if a geographical location shift were possible, it would still be the same game called Life. The same programmer. The same program, everyday extended with new features and a million parameters, out of which you get to choose very few. May be a few more bonus ones on a sunny day. And hope to have Saturn on your side.

Thats not much of free will. But I should qualify this conclusion, because, thats how it looks from where I stand and see, and only to the level of Meta I can handle. Because I am going to go above my own head in the next paragraph. I tend to subscribe to what Sri Ramakrishna, used to say often about Free Will. That our free will, is "like that of a cow that is tied to a pole and gets to graze the grass around it". It might think, in all its cow-level meta, that it has quite a lot of free-will. But you and I, who are at slightly better Meta than the cow, know the length of the rope and its circumference. The cow, though not meta enough to work out the formula, will surely come to terms with its limitations and pet ideas of free will, once the grass (or the meta) is grazed enough and exhausted. Then, it looks up to the Master, and he releases it from its pole and allows it to graze further beyond. [Don't mention to the cow, that it will be tied to another pole, :) :) , thats part of the original game. ]

There, however, seems to be an even higher possibility, That we are 24x7, co-creators of all of world and Life, just that we forgot, and such Illusion seems part of the design. [Don't say you didn't put that into the design, stupid, you put it and forgot]. Uf! Suddenly, you are promoted to the Board of Directors! Even higher is the school that, 'we' is wrong usage, and all of it is actually ONE single stuff and the dream and waking states are just parameters in a combo box, and one is as real (or as unreal) as the other. Well, there is only one Director, and Thou Art That ! Now, don't ask me, which video game most maps that level of abstraction ? As I said, Life is a meta-kaa-baap-kaa-meta, when it comes to gaming. It seems the Matrix game has characters that are aware that they are under simulation, and they even have a rare one, that has self-substantiated itself out of the game. (What the hell is that supposed to mean in Life ?)

The higher truths about Life and Free Will, we may not be able to comprehend now, we dismiss it in sarcasm and quips, but there may be few die-hard game programmers out there who have seen the software design of the Game called Life and come back. If their experience is anything to go by, we just have to increase our meta and re-meta it until we experience those very truths we find as abstract. It won't be meta anymore, it would just give us the feeling of having designed an amazing game for billions of species to play. Till the end of Time. And start all over again with a different profile. Happy Gaming!

Don't die for a Cause, Live for it.....

After my earlier writings on Bhagat Singh, a friend of mine sent in a link to a recent article on Periyar's stance on Bhagat Singh in those days. The article is based on a recently published book on Bhagat Singh. I should have discussed it after reading the book but I think the contents of the article, even when taken alone, has stuff enough for a blog post, particularly since it mentions an essay written by Bhagat Singh "Why I am an atheist".

I wouldn't ask someone to give up his life by engaging in violent action in the cause of something that is dear to his heart, even against an oppressor. Not that I value Life more than the Cause, but because I think it is better to use Life to further that cause, rather than to give it away on a quick-fix route. Don't say "I'll die for this cause", but say, "I'll live to show how to live for this cause". I called Bhagat Singh a martyr in comparison with Nathuram, because Bhagat Singh gave up his life in acting against an external 200-year-old oppressor, not on a skirmish of money transfer. It's how a spouse or a kid who is oppressively abused at his/her home wanting to break away from the family is different from the kid who thinks of running away because his Dad scolded him. But after Bhagat Singh chose to offer his life (which I think is not always the best thing to do), I would always differentiate such an offering as martyrdom given the context, zeal, selflessness, external oppressor and the awareness wave it created , as against other flimsier reasons for murder of oneself or others. This is not to say that such martyrdom should be replicated (as if it's that easy), but the zeal behind, selflessness and singlepointedness should be replicated towards a cause that is as noble and supreme as the ideal was to the martyr.

There are probably a couple of points in the article where I agree, where Periyar laments that nobody, no leader even condoled the hanging of Bhagat Singh and many senior leaders didn't try to take up the matter with the British in any way. That was real bad, how thankless !

I also agree on Bhagat Singh's general exhortation that exploitation of man by man and nation by nation should end.

That said, would I agree with Bhagat Singh's other views or beliefs ? Oh hardly, which is why I put the agreement first. Here are those where I disagree and most of these disagreements are in the outdated utility of his views in the current times, not on their backdated relevance.

Belief in socialism and communism as a panacea for all the evils of the society was a belief wave of those times, not because of their proven intrinsic healing properties, but more because of the frustrations of imperial colonialism. This would soon get proven by time with, if not the crumbling of such institutions, atleast with the wane in the fascination for these schools and increasing disillusionment about their healing properties. They were definitely worth the try, though.

Among the governance schools that mankind has tried out, Democracy seems to be the one that is working out the best in the current phase of civilization and Man's search for happiness in society. While I personally have a fascination of benevolent autocracy at times, I think, democracy, with all its demerits, will hold the fort as Mankind moves towards better and better forms of this school, hopefully plugging its loopholes on the way. So is the case with free markets, with whatever little freedom it might mean in the actual sense of practice, under democratic intervention through regulation.

"Till people live without unequal status, our struggle will continue. It cannot be brought to an end by killing us..." Oh come on, flip this argument around, will inequality come to an end by killing yourself or others ? How do you define inequality ? How do you define a Utopian possibility of a single equal society where everyone is somehow equally endowed and happy ? Or should we endeavour for the equality of opportunity to make choices and rise ? How about people using the same equality of opportunity to make choices and fall ? Or befall others ? Assuming you define equality successfully, is it something you can achieve ? Even if you were to achieve all equality of the material (which by itself, is an infinitely complex problem), Man would still be unhappy about inequalities in his mind. This is not to say we should glorify the absurd inequalities, but we should pursue the endeavour to remove the absurdity acknowledging the fact that such a pursuit can span civilizations and no single hammer can quickly rest the hall to peace forever.

"only Bhagat Singh’s principle is needed in India" ? That's just Periyar's political wand. Just ignore. We are anyway discussing here why it may not be as fascinating. Among others, He justifies the "use of force in terrible necessity" and non-violence as an indispensable policy for mass movements. I think while it might have had some relevance in relation to abuse by an external oppressor, but it might create utter chaos if individual citizens subscribe to this idea and use force depending on their view of terrible necessity. Leave it to the law enforcers, please.

While some responses to the article have praised his humanism, other online responses the article have handled the fallacious comparison between caste system and economics, untouchability and povery, so I won't go into it. I also won't go into the possible "political" reasons for Periyar to vociferously align with Bhagat Singh or even Bhagat Singh to align with atheism. I would rather look at the reasons for their value and not for their motive.

The other reasons of Bhagat Singh to align with atheism are mentioned in his essay, "Why I am an Atheist", referred to in the article in the context of religion being a tool of exploitation. For one, the essay is definitely a great stirring read, but the meat isn't new, it's as old as God, just the dialogues are different. I wanted to discuss this after I read The God Delusion, but let's have a primer.

If you cut out the part where Bhagat Singh explains that vanity, upbringing etc are not among the reasons, the other main reasons are :

1. He studied a lot on the subject and then found his atheism. He doesn't mention what his studies revealed, I think probably the other reasons mentioned here are the ones. Moreover, Bhagat Singh himself admits that he did a detailed study of the "negative" side, that is, how to deconstruct the God concept, he didn't study much on the "positive" side. Oh, thats bad study, but I will credit him for his open admission.

2. Some of the stuff is rhetoric, hey look at this, hey look at that, don't you know this, aren't you looking and so on. So cut that out too, but I should say, even after cutting, he does go on to some core reasons.

3. "Religion is the cause of a lot of evils and therefore, I don't believe in God": The earlier misconceptions about communism would get disproven by time, but this one still persists. What about other things that cause evil, is that a good reason to say their underlying substratum doesn't exist ? Cobwebs are a good reason to clean the house, but is that a good, (apparaently analytical) reason to deny that the house exists or not to have a house anymore ? Why can't we all stop using petrol and go back to stone age because it causes pollution ? Okay, if religion caused inequalities by caste, which religion caused inequalities by colour in some other part of the earth ? What about inequalities in skill sets, in food, in lotteries and a hundred other variants of inequality. Religion is a major force, and oh we have inequality all over, so we think all inequality must have been caused by religion. People wearing yellow t-shirts eat more apples than those wearing blue ones so there is something about yellow.

We shouldn't admit the evil offshoots of religion, and there are many, but thats a reason we should practise better religion if we believe in God, and even if we don't believe in God, we should find out what causes evil/suffering irrespective of whether God existed or not. As to my take on what's the root cause of all evil, I would turn to one religion that studied this as one of its tenets. Turns out, it has nothing much to do with God.

4. "The God concept was created because of human weakness" : Even if this were true, it hardly gives a reason to prove or disprove the existence of God or otherwise. Since you are the one claiming to be on the side of reason, you got to come up with a better one.

5. "Why did God create the world ? " : If this question was discussed at length, it would have been a different angle, but Bhagat Singh seems to focus on the "Suffering" aspect of creation. He asks the creation question in the context of "Why did God create a world that has so much suffering in it ?". The question presupposes that God should keep the world happy, otherwise he is no God. Look around the world, you won't require God to cause suffering, Man himself is more than capable of it. Moreover, you should first prove God caused it in the first place. Or may be find out, who causes any suffering to whom. And after you find out, you can say, so-and-so is causing it. There are some schools that ask the question "Is there suffering ?" from a particular plane, and, to be fair to the study of the subject, you should ask the question too and find the answer. In fact, if you answer that, quite possible you may not have much questions left.

6. "Who created the world ?": The "Ask Darwin" and "Chemical Accident" arguments aren't new. But if you have to use them effectively as a persuasive argument for atheism, these alternatives should first provide a complete explanation of creation. You might go on pointing out that School A is incomplete and foolish, but to get the point across, you should have School B in your hand and say, here it is, this one answers all your questions. It's well known even in scientific circles that the various disciplines delve most on the How of creation and science, as a discipline by itself, will not be able to provide a complete explanation on the why and who, atleast for a lot of time to come. We are still very far away even from asking these questions in our labs, so come up with something concrete and complete, I'll wait.

I liked the part towards the end of the essay, where Bhagat Singh stays an atheist till the end. Tough job. "You have enough fires, you find God..." - Ladder 49. But I have a faint thought : did he stay so just because he didn't want to roll back ? What if, just what if he was wrong, particularly since he had not found complete correct answers to the God questions he was asking. I am just speculating here, I am sure you can speculate about my being wrong too.

Does that make you curious on what are my arguments in favour of theism ? Thats another thread some day. Frankly, I don't know God well enough to qualify to comment on Him. I like Him though :) . I thought atheists are the ones who knew everything !!

Your Smile means I am fine...

Similar to the incident where I met the 100-year old man, I happened to meet another elderly person. I was in the hospital to meet a friend and someone mentioned about this person and said he was also admitted in the same hospital for some ailment. I never knew him, I hadn't talked to him anytime before, but I knew he was a resident of the community. A couple of other friends also thought let's go and visit him although none of us knew him well. So we went to his ward. He knew only one among our group but he understood we are a gang. He must have been in his late eighties (or may be in early nineties). As we could see, his ailment had taken a heavy toll. The first thing that happens, I think, to some people who are otherwise healthy, well-built for a long time and suddenly fall sick in their old age is that, they lose their cheeky build and drastically reduce to a thin frame. He had great difficulty having food on his own and his wife was feeding him a semi-liquid from a cup. We thought it wouldn't be good manners to step in but they said its okay and moreover, it was already getting dark and we thought he might wish to take rest later. His wife was also in her eighties and still does voluntary work.

I felt that though his frame had reduced, the shine in his eyes had not. He mentioned about my friend's father and recollected how they went back a long time, though they had branched out into different workplaces. He was happy that we were visiting him although he actually knew only one of us. He said: I am not so sure about the ailment and the pain that has inflicted me, but when I see the (well-wishing) smile on your faces, then I know I am getting well. Your smile is a sign of my wellbeing. I had mentioned in an earlier post, that elderly couples, after a threshold age, go on to become good old buddies, with the bonding turning almost as a spiritual friendship. I felt the same way when I saw the old lady feeding her husband. Seldom do young couples pause to think that the test of true bonding lies far ahead later in life, that the best of fun times are only the beginning part of the wedding promises and keeping them up till the end is the proof of the pudding.

They both probably had come to the plain realisation that the ailment may be terminal. She mentioned, that the God they believed in, whatever He did would be good to them. Wow, I thought. It's easy to debunk or theorise about a belief in God, but it's tough to turn that faith, whatever God you may have, into a positive strength when it matters the most and when all our devices are shutting out in non-co-operation. You know that your most possessive possession so far, your own body, is giving way and you have to use the strength of something that is not made of body stuff. You don't even want to think of trying that, and even tougher to try it at 80+.

His strength was even better. Similar to the earlier incident, his mental strength was amazing. His voice was blurred so I couldn't get it verbatim, words came with breaks, but let me capture the main idea. He said : Suffering is a great test of your spirituality. For a long time, we have been 'knowing' the whats and hows of being spiritual, but in such a situation, it is a test to have the faith that My God is always with me. And I firmly believe He is with me. That the condition of the body is this or that doesn't matter, but in my mind I know, whatever happens we have His Blessings. This is the time to remember, and actually practise what we have always known all these years.

It set me thinking on suffering. Suffering, I agree with him, is really a great test of spirituality. Other times, you probably "apply" your spirituality "on others", to third party situations, but the acid test of your spirituality is when a real suffering touches you directly. Dhoodh kaa dhoodh, Paani kaa paani Ho Jayega. Buddha devoted his entire life in finding the answer for this one question. We live off our lives not bothering about it, as if it were out of syllabus, but dude, thats one sure question thats going to be on exam paper. For, old age and its accompaniments are a certainty and more often, such a certainty that we will most likely be all alone to handle the actual stuff. If at all you want to have an Either-Or choice, now is the time make that choice between becoming a Budda or a Buddha. The others can rally around you in support, speak nice words and may be even help you out, but there is no proxy for living out your pain. You have to do it, yeah scary it is, all by yourself, bit by bit. This requires a lifetime's preparation of your mind, brick by brick, to keep it strong in old age. When the body is strong, the mind may fritter away, but if such a frittering can be streamlined and built to be strong, then such a strength would come in handy when the body is on its withering way.

I and one of my friends are opposites in our lifestyles. There are many unhealthy elements in my lifestyle, I blog after midnight and I sleep late, I have a lot of junk food and less of healthy food, I live like a sin(e) curve, don't keep a standard schedule etc. Whereas he lives his life as if a clock decided to become a human being and bless the earth, and lives in a very simple straight line, while a few others run around in circles. :) . I often joke that he is like The Wall, stay and play, ball by ball and hit a slow century. Another friend of mine jokes that he spends the first 60 years in disciplined suffering so that he may live the next 20 happily, whereas others spend first 60 merrily and suffer the last 20. While I often quip away the flexi lifestyle to be the ultimate exercise of Brahamachari independence, I have to sheepishly agree when well-meaning friends often insist, will rolling eyes, that body will soon show its signs. Come to think of it, the jokes apart, my friend does have a healthier lifestyle than mine, and the compliment is not only about the body. The health of the mind that you acquire across years is going to be a major support when you have crossed most of your years. This recent quote about paradoxes on Prasanna's blog puts it well.

When we moved away from that hospital bed that night, after holding his hand reassuringly for a moment, wishing him the best and praying for his good health, we didn't know he would be no more within two weeks. But those two minutes of interaction with him had set us all thinking on why it is important to live a life in a particular way and not just in any way, anyway.

Fresh Upma and Old Bindi Fry

Let me serve some old cold bindi fry from the refridgerator as promised in the opening post. Here are links to stuff I have written before.

Before I landed with Blogger, I used to linger in BBC's H2G2 for a while and these are links from that phase. (Note: You won't require a h2g2 id to access these links, so you can click on.)

On Leadership and Management
On Micro-Finance
On Open-Source and Healthcare. This is admittedly an emotional-type article, but it isn't entirely off-track since Economic Times mentions this as a development that is brewing in this debate a few days ago.

Quite interesting, that my first movie review is not on a movie in English, Hindi or even Tamil but a Telugu one. Coming of age as son-of-soil of Rayalaseema, Uh ? A kind of content and theme review of Bommarillu on MouthShut, after I saw it at a friend's place. For the type of person I used to be, it might even come as a surprise to many, that I am writing, of all things in the world, a movie review!! But riverside walks and talks may range from pin to plane, so you never know, I might even write about Hindustani Music tomorrow !!

If you have an Orkut Id, you can read up on how I had answered someone's question on:

Why did Jesus Christ and Mohammed not explicitly restrain the consumption of meat and alcohol among their followers?

If you don't have an Orkut Id, please wait till an edited version of that is put up here. Or as they say, watch this space for updates.

Each of the above are longwinding and verbose posts, so typical of a whirling mind and so untypical in this age of SMS-slang blogging. So reserve them for a Sunday afternoon. I always wanted to have a diverse topic cloud on my blog, I guess this post comes close. Life goes on in phases and patterns, so I hope the day doesn't come when I have to post this blog's links on some other website after a few years. :) :) For those who have already read all these before, please wait till fresh upma is served. :)