Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Layoffs and Scams...

Hate as I do to post forwards on my blog, here is a "value-added" exception :) :)

Someone sent me a funny story as forwarded email, and I kinda continued the story....

(Part 1 is the forwarded story on Layoffs, Part 2 is my addition....)

Part 1 :

Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ.. had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Ruling Party XYZ Said..
- "Someone may steal from it at night."

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..
- "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..
- "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..
- "How are these people going to get paid?"

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,
- "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..
- "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So ....


They lay off the night watchman.

Part 2 :

Irritated, the night watchman stole things from scrap yard and vanished.

So, the CEO sacked all the rest of the staff for dereliction of duty.

The shareholders were happy that the CEO has taken stringent action. Share prices went up.

The company had excess cash and wanted to diversify into "security agency" business to de-risk the "scrap" business and also to find a good watchman, because HR companies were having a bull run.

The insitutional investors found out that the security agency was owned by the night-watchman and they raised serious corporate governance objections and stalled the deal. Share prices tanked.

Within a week, the CEO resigned, admitting deliberate fraud to the extent of 7000 nuts and bolts in the scrapyard.

The government arrested the CEO and put him behind steel bars (recycled from scrap) and directed the Economic Offences Wing to investigate the matter.

By the time they discovered the whole truth, the scrapyard had vanished, no, actually the desert had vanished, i mean rivers flowed, civilisations flourished and apartments were built.

However, for the record, let us state the truth they discovered : that the scrap yard never belonged to the CEO and he stole it from the night watchman in the first place.

What they didn't discover was : the CEO and night-watchman partnered once again and started a real-estate business and software companies, which were now flourising in the now-green-but-once-barren desert.

And then, it all started once again.... Jai Ho !!!

1 comment:

  1. The Part II is real funny and contemporrary Naamaji !
    I am sure the net-friendly King (take teh telugu synonym ) will realize how he could still inspire people.

    - talpak


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